The contrasts that we so often resist in our lives (those things that we do not like, those things that we do not want, those qualities that we reject in others) are emotional barometers of that which we truly desire.
In my years of experience coaching individuals, I have found that it is difficult for most people to speak with clarity and conviction about what they want. It is a simple victory, however, when you ask someone to speak about what they DO NOT want. Many people can go on for hours if simply given an invitation! This is important information if it is used effectively.
Let's say that you are seeking the perfect job. You may have no (conscious) idea of what you want to do, but I am willing to bet that you will have no problem describing the job that you do NOT want. Well, why not begin with what you know? Make a list of all of the things that you do not want in a job--the environment, the people, the hours, the types of duties, the pay, etc. Be as detailed as possible. Once you have made your list, go back. For each line item, ask your self, "if I don't want this, what do I want?" Create a list of opposites.
This exercise may not provide you with all of the answers, but it will inspire your unconscious desires to step forward. You will begin to attract the things that you desire.
success or sabotage? too often, we wait for greater clarity before beginning to create the life of our dreams. remember: not making a choice is a choice! be mindful not to get bogged down with perfection. simply allow yourself to dream and to become.
is this going to be an incredible day? if you don't know the answer, list all of the things that make a day "horrible" to you. now, what is the opposite? what are some steps (however small) that you may take to create that kind of day today?
"In the seeing of who you are not, the reality of who you are emerges by itself."--Eckhart Tolle
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
LISTEN TO RX for Success: http://www.unitychicago.org/uniRADIO/channel2/
Wednesday
Tuesday
WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?
My mom has been diagnosed with breast cancer. The extent of the pathology remains to be seen. In what can only be described as an emotional roller coaster, I have been provided with this very real opportunity to choose (yet again) who I wish to be on this planet and in this challenging circumstance. I am the strategist...the philosopher...the counselor...the facilitator and (in this case) the son. As a man in western society, my inclination is to move to trying to "fix things." We know, of course, that in truth...there is no fixing. No matter how things may feel or appear, nothing is really broken. This is irrespective of the pain, heartache and very real suffering that all of us experience at one time or another. Therefore, I will feel the fear (and my own peace with mortality), and I will manage it--realizing that I must be present for my mom, my family and for myself.
It would be much simpler for me to hide behind the veil of spiritual guidance and what I know to be true (advising my mom as to healthy perspectives). This, however, is an action of fear and one that comes from trying to control the uncontrollable and to play God in an episode that I did not write. Therefore, I choose to be present...fully present...to actively love her in my thoughts, words and actions (in and apart from her presence). I will listen with open ears and an open heart, offering all that I can to provide comfort and support. I will avoid the temptation to add yet another unsolicited opinion to the mix. I choose to be a refuge from the entourage of unsolicited advice. Somehow, in this experience, I feel that I am learning what it is to become a man. In the midst of uncertainty, faith and fear, I will show up as I am--imperfect, but true to my soul...my mother's son.
success or sabotage? The integrity of success is always in your heart. Are you living in alignment with your true nature or are you living in the pretense of who you believe you SHOULD be?
is this going to be an incredible day? it is a question that we answer with our thoughts, words and actions. i have received incredible prayer support for my mom and am so appreciative of both of my parents presence in my life (and my opportunity to be here, in their lives and on this planet!).
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”--Marianne Williamson
It would be much simpler for me to hide behind the veil of spiritual guidance and what I know to be true (advising my mom as to healthy perspectives). This, however, is an action of fear and one that comes from trying to control the uncontrollable and to play God in an episode that I did not write. Therefore, I choose to be present...fully present...to actively love her in my thoughts, words and actions (in and apart from her presence). I will listen with open ears and an open heart, offering all that I can to provide comfort and support. I will avoid the temptation to add yet another unsolicited opinion to the mix. I choose to be a refuge from the entourage of unsolicited advice. Somehow, in this experience, I feel that I am learning what it is to become a man. In the midst of uncertainty, faith and fear, I will show up as I am--imperfect, but true to my soul...my mother's son.
success or sabotage? The integrity of success is always in your heart. Are you living in alignment with your true nature or are you living in the pretense of who you believe you SHOULD be?
is this going to be an incredible day? it is a question that we answer with our thoughts, words and actions. i have received incredible prayer support for my mom and am so appreciative of both of my parents presence in my life (and my opportunity to be here, in their lives and on this planet!).
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”--Marianne Williamson
Wednesday
LOST IN ACTION
Why are you doing what you're doing? So often, we get so caught up in the momentum of our lives that we forget to live. Once we have set an objective for ourselves, we must learn to stay focused on our vision without becoming prisoner to our own strategy. Our job is to stay clear about what we want and to be conscious of our choices. We must learn to surrender our need to know how we are going to get what we want. If we even attempt to control the means, we will most likely blind ourselves to a world of unexpected opportunities. Expect the miracle without knowing in what form it will arrive.
Examine where you are spending the majority of your time. What are you doing? Why? Is the return on your time, energy and talents well invested? Are you getting more than you are giving? If not, perhaps it is time to reevaluate your strategy. Are you feeding your life, joy and happiness or are you blindly hiding in the routine of existence? The world can no longer afford your absence. You need to be fully present at every moment of your day. How are you going to ensure that you are spending your time wisely? How will you evaluate your success? What are you willing to do TODAY to live more effectively?
success or sabotage? has your plan for success become the foundation of self-sabotage? are you doing all that you can to ensure conscious thoughts, words and actions?
is this going to be an incredible day? is your routine interfering with your joy? if so, what's the point?
"Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live." - Margaret Fuller
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
Examine where you are spending the majority of your time. What are you doing? Why? Is the return on your time, energy and talents well invested? Are you getting more than you are giving? If not, perhaps it is time to reevaluate your strategy. Are you feeding your life, joy and happiness or are you blindly hiding in the routine of existence? The world can no longer afford your absence. You need to be fully present at every moment of your day. How are you going to ensure that you are spending your time wisely? How will you evaluate your success? What are you willing to do TODAY to live more effectively?
success or sabotage? has your plan for success become the foundation of self-sabotage? are you doing all that you can to ensure conscious thoughts, words and actions?
is this going to be an incredible day? is your routine interfering with your joy? if so, what's the point?
"Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live." - Margaret Fuller
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
Tuesday
LIVE YOUR POTENTIAL
What is your vision for your life? What is the greatest that you can hope to achieve? Are your answers influenced by the limitations of tribal consciousness?
What are the reasons that you use to justify living below your potential?
I cannot do this because....
I am not educated enough.
I am too old.
I am the wrong ethnicity.
I am the wrong gender.
I don't have the experience.
I will never be taken seriously.
I don't have the time.
I am not good looking enough.
I don't know what I am doing.
The justification is your own. You (ultimately) only answer to yourself. There are no excuses. There are only choices. Remove the judgment from your choices and simply be clear about the choices that you are making. You may either be the rule or the exception. There is no need to defend your doubt and support your fear with reasons for why your life is not all that you would like it to be. When you truly decide that you want your life to be more and believe that it is possible, you will act accordingly.
Monitor your thoughts and words today. Do you find yourself defending your fear and inaction or supporting the power and potential of something new and more effective?
success or sabotage? whatever the reasons that you use to limit yourself: stop lying. it is a choice that you are making and nothing more. success is a choice, not a destiny.
is this going to be an incredible day? what do you use as your reasons to limit the possibility of miracles in your life today?
"Men and women are limited not by the place of their birth, not by the color of their skin, but by the size of their hope…" John H. Johnson
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
What are the reasons that you use to justify living below your potential?
I cannot do this because....
I am not educated enough.
I am too old.
I am the wrong ethnicity.
I am the wrong gender.
I don't have the experience.
I will never be taken seriously.
I don't have the time.
I am not good looking enough.
I don't know what I am doing.
The justification is your own. You (ultimately) only answer to yourself. There are no excuses. There are only choices. Remove the judgment from your choices and simply be clear about the choices that you are making. You may either be the rule or the exception. There is no need to defend your doubt and support your fear with reasons for why your life is not all that you would like it to be. When you truly decide that you want your life to be more and believe that it is possible, you will act accordingly.
Monitor your thoughts and words today. Do you find yourself defending your fear and inaction or supporting the power and potential of something new and more effective?
success or sabotage? whatever the reasons that you use to limit yourself: stop lying. it is a choice that you are making and nothing more. success is a choice, not a destiny.
is this going to be an incredible day? what do you use as your reasons to limit the possibility of miracles in your life today?
"Men and women are limited not by the place of their birth, not by the color of their skin, but by the size of their hope…" John H. Johnson
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
Monday
YOU ARE YOUR HERO
We may resist times of trial and tribulation, but it is in those moments that our character is most developed. Our discovery is not simply limited to the nature of our being; it includes a demonstration of our true strength. We are reminded that we are the true hero and protagonist of our story.
Take some time today to reflect on your life to date. Look at how much you have been through (and you are still here!). Rather than painting a picture of regret and victimization, celebrate your victories. Tell the story as truth--you are the hero that has triumphed over great adversities. Now, examine the qualities that enabled you to move beyond the obstacles. It is these characteristics that define the hero: you! You will begin to notice that the challenges that you face today are no greater than those that you faced in the past. You simply need to use the same strength of character to overcome your current challenges.
success or sabotage? in order to be successful, you must remember that you have already made great accomplishments. how can you appreciate success if it remains unacknowledged?
is this going to be an incredible day? find the qualities within that make each day incredible.
"Adversity has ever been considered the state in which a man most
easily becomes acquainted with himself."--Samuel Johnson
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
Take some time today to reflect on your life to date. Look at how much you have been through (and you are still here!). Rather than painting a picture of regret and victimization, celebrate your victories. Tell the story as truth--you are the hero that has triumphed over great adversities. Now, examine the qualities that enabled you to move beyond the obstacles. It is these characteristics that define the hero: you! You will begin to notice that the challenges that you face today are no greater than those that you faced in the past. You simply need to use the same strength of character to overcome your current challenges.
success or sabotage? in order to be successful, you must remember that you have already made great accomplishments. how can you appreciate success if it remains unacknowledged?
is this going to be an incredible day? find the qualities within that make each day incredible.
"Adversity has ever been considered the state in which a man most
easily becomes acquainted with himself."--Samuel Johnson
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
Thursday
PRACTICING PEACE
Peace is a concept that tends to evade people on a personal level. It is easy to think of peace in terms of world relations (war vs. peace), but if most were asked what they do to contribute to peace on a daily basis, they would be dumb-struck. As long as we are unable to build a bridge between global consciousness and our personal daily interactions, we will be unsuccessful in our attempts to battle international unrest.
As Jonathan Larson so aptly stated in Rent, "the opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation." If you want to examine the concept of peace in your own life, take a moment to examine what you are creating on a daily basis. Let's take it to the micro level. You are driving in traffic, someone pulls out in front of you and you give them the "finger." The driver of the car gets upset and takes that emotion home to his/her partner. The partner, in-turn, gets upset at the injustice of the emotion (now being exerted on him/her) and takes it to the supermarket where it is unleashed on an employee at the check-out. If you are unable to see that your words and actions may have global implications, you are fooling yourself.
Take some time today to examine the practice of peace in your life. Are you treating yourself with respect and dignity? Do you belittle yourself or put yourself down in your self-talk or in the presence of others? Do you engage anger as a means of releasing your emotion when things are upsetting or unpredictable? It is not a matter of validity; your emotions are always valid. It is a matter of your investment of energy. Is it an investment that serves you and the world that surrounds you?
success or sabotage? success is not created in a vacuum; one could argue that it is your responsibility to create joy and success in your life for your benefit and for the world.
is this going to be an incredible day? look at your commitments today. are you creating greater peace or greater conflict?
“To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is in itself to succumb to the violence of our times.” –Thomas Merton
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
As Jonathan Larson so aptly stated in Rent, "the opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation." If you want to examine the concept of peace in your own life, take a moment to examine what you are creating on a daily basis. Let's take it to the micro level. You are driving in traffic, someone pulls out in front of you and you give them the "finger." The driver of the car gets upset and takes that emotion home to his/her partner. The partner, in-turn, gets upset at the injustice of the emotion (now being exerted on him/her) and takes it to the supermarket where it is unleashed on an employee at the check-out. If you are unable to see that your words and actions may have global implications, you are fooling yourself.
Take some time today to examine the practice of peace in your life. Are you treating yourself with respect and dignity? Do you belittle yourself or put yourself down in your self-talk or in the presence of others? Do you engage anger as a means of releasing your emotion when things are upsetting or unpredictable? It is not a matter of validity; your emotions are always valid. It is a matter of your investment of energy. Is it an investment that serves you and the world that surrounds you?
success or sabotage? success is not created in a vacuum; one could argue that it is your responsibility to create joy and success in your life for your benefit and for the world.
is this going to be an incredible day? look at your commitments today. are you creating greater peace or greater conflict?
“To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is in itself to succumb to the violence of our times.” –Thomas Merton
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
Wednesday
IT'S NOT THE LOVE THAT'S BLIND
What do you love?
I am amazed at how difficult that question becomes for many. After two or three traditional responses, people are often stuck.
LOOK AROUND!
Is your life really so out of focus that you are unable to see the beauty and blessings that constantly surround you? Many are in such a habit of paying attention to what they do not have that they have blocked the possibilities by ignoring what they have already created.
YOU WILL NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT UNTIL YOU WANT WHAT YOU HAVE.
Today, I invite you to open your eyes to the riches that you have in your life. Notice the people that love you, the quality of your life, the food that you eat, the people that worked to bring you that food (farmers, truck drivers, grocery store stock people, cashiers, etc), those that entertain you (music, television, radio). Speak your admiration aloud--"I love...." Feel your energy shift in your body. Bathe in it. This is love. Have you forgotten?
success or sabotage? success escapes those who are blind to its arrival.
is this going to be an incredible day? are you unable to see it?
"Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done." - Vincent van Gogh
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
I am amazed at how difficult that question becomes for many. After two or three traditional responses, people are often stuck.
LOOK AROUND!
Is your life really so out of focus that you are unable to see the beauty and blessings that constantly surround you? Many are in such a habit of paying attention to what they do not have that they have blocked the possibilities by ignoring what they have already created.
YOU WILL NEVER GET WHAT YOU WANT UNTIL YOU WANT WHAT YOU HAVE.
Today, I invite you to open your eyes to the riches that you have in your life. Notice the people that love you, the quality of your life, the food that you eat, the people that worked to bring you that food (farmers, truck drivers, grocery store stock people, cashiers, etc), those that entertain you (music, television, radio). Speak your admiration aloud--"I love...." Feel your energy shift in your body. Bathe in it. This is love. Have you forgotten?
success or sabotage? success escapes those who are blind to its arrival.
is this going to be an incredible day? are you unable to see it?
"Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done." - Vincent van Gogh
Mark Ward
nu*design LLC
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